Understanding Your Experience

I don't know what to call my experience, but I don't feel comfortable with a sexual encounter I had.

If you've had a sexual encounter that left you feeling uncomfortable or violated, but you are not quite sure what to call it, there are people available to listen and support you. It might be good to discuss this with a counselor. Also, please read through our policy which might help you understand what happened. It is important to us that any sexual encounter has occurred with clear consent. Additionally, healthy relationships do not contain violence.

Consent to some sexual contact (such as kissing or fondling) cannot be presumed to be consent for other sexual activity (such as intercourse). A current or previous relationship is not sufficient to constitute consent. A person can withdraw consent at any time during sexual activity by expressing in words or actions that they no longer wants the act to continue, and, if that happens, the other person must stop immediately.

It is the responsibility of the person who wants to engage in a specific sexual activity to ensure that effective consent is obtained for each sexual act and over the entire course of the sexual activity. It is not an excuse that the individual responding party of sexual misconduct was intoxicated and, therefore, did not realize the incapacity of the other. Incapacitation is defined as a state in which someone cannot make rational, reasonable decisions because the individual lacks the capacity to give knowing consent (e.g., to understand the "who, what, when, where, why or how" of their sexual interaction). A person is responsible for their behavior while they are intoxicated. An intoxicated person cannot give consent to the behavior of another individual, however, an intoxicated person is responsible for their own actions.